I’m guessing you already know what this post is about or, let’s just say you already have an idea. But however, you still need to read this because I want to paint a bigger picture!
I’m sure by now you know women are the most complex beings in this world before and after mathematics existed.
No offense to you the ladies!
I’m just being frank here!
And if you don’t know this yet, let me ask you “which planet do you live in?”
I hope it’s not Krypton?
So far, there have been various research on how to understand women than that on understanding men and I don’t blame this researches because just when you think you understand a woman or think you have a Ph.D. in womanology, you actually know little or even nothing.
Left to me, I think there should be the study of women in school, yeah! It’s funny, laugh at me but, this is my thought anyways, and if there will be the study of women (how to understand women) this should start right from basic 4 of elementary school all the way to university level. Like I said earlier, this is my thought.
Because men really need to start understanding women as separate sex; not as the opposite sex before even thinking of settling down.
“It can be toxic for you as a man to start to understand women after your wedding.”
But let’s also be frank here; there’s no school of learning or some sorts to learn about women, that’s why I talked about having a school earlier and if you know any, please feel free to notify me by commenting.
Thumbs up to mind-blowing psychologists, writers, and pastors, relationship experts for bringing forth materials that have helped men on becoming a better lover, spouse, father, husband, co-worker, brother, uncle…
All these have helped shaped man positively and will continue to shape.
Who is a Woman?
I’ll have asked for answers if this was a class, probably asked the women folks first before asking the men.
Now, who is a woman? According to Dr. Myles Monroe in his materials, “a woman is a man with a womb”.
He was clear on this but I wish it was that simple!
Some will also say a woman is a help-meet (helpmate), in other words, she’s a helper.
Others say she is a blend of everything. She is a multi-tasker, an epitome of beauty and so on.
Don’t ask me who a woman is because I myself don’t have a personal definition, I basically learn from people’s definition and I choose from any of these definitions when asked.
Women Have Insecurities but They are Also Perfect At Hiding it
Not only have people told me this, women themselves have told me (the ones I’ve meet) and I also have a personal experience with this.
The last thing a woman wants to do is to tell a man she loves that she can’t afford to lose him.
These words are not something a woman will easily say but, this is not so for men. Men are the exact opposite of this! Men are open, they’re good at reaffirming words and sentences of love especially when they see that’s what their women want to hear.
In almost all my relationships, mark the words ‘almost’, I’m usually the one who first reaffirms before it’s been reciprocated not that were not romantic but, they were slow in their showing insecurities.
Even till after marriage, your wife might not tell you her insecurities, but she’ll fight you if you look at another woman for 10 seconds. That’s her for you! Don’t take it personal!
She won’t tell you she’s scared you might find another lady attractive and cheat on her and probably one day you’ll leave her. No! That’s the last thing you’ll probably hear from a woman, your wife mostly.
Men are Mostly Insecure About One Thing, Women are Insecure About Almost Everything
I’m not the one saying this, it’s a finding.
Do you know men are most insecure about the size of their penis?
I was surprised just like you are now when I heard this fact. Not that they are not scared about every other thing like losing the woman they love to another man or losing their jobs but this comes first!
In fact, a man won’t care how short he is in height as long as knows he has a big penis.
The reason why most men are scared about the size of their penis is that; they fill they might not be able to satisfy women but women? They are insecure about everything. Their bodies, their husbands, their finance, their shoes, everything. I’ve heard of women who force their husbands to put off the light if they really have to have sex. Blame it on unspoken insecurity.
Women can be insecure about their breast, their bum, their nose, their figure, their skin color why some of bleach, their hair color, their chin, name that body part!
I don’t know why this is so… probably it due to their genetic make-up.
Like I said earlier, women are insecure about these parts probably because they have their own definition of ugly.
They are the ones showing it is. Sadly most times what they determine is ugly is not really ugly.
I don’t know if my fellow men agree with me here. There have many cases in which someone will tell me she doesn’t like a particular part of her body and when later see this part; I’ll be like I don’t understand women. I don’t know if this has happened to you.
The other day a friend was telling me she doesn’t like wearing sandals to the beach. When I asked why she told me something that totally didn’t make sense to me. You know what she told me? She told me she has small toes.
Till today when I think of this, I still ask myself how does a small toe relate to wearing of sandals. Like I said earlier, just when you think you understand women.
Let me tell you another one before we go to some reasons why women won’t tell you about their insecurities.
Another friend of mine once told me jokingly that she doesn’t like as she has small breast. Looking surprised, I asked her what made her think it she has a small breast just to try and understand her more. She said she just wish they were big. This was a hard nut for me to swallow.
But I told her the fact that it is small to her doesn’t mean it is small to all men and besides, she has to start accepting herself the way God created her.
You see I believe God made us all in sizes. He made some big, some short, some thin, some short because he knew what every man (men and women) want is different.
Enough of all these women’s psychology thing. Let move to why women are afraid about sharing their insecurities.
I’ll take them in brief; I know your itching for the main part.
Reasons Women Are Afraid Talking about Their Insecurities
You and I know this world (I’m talking about marriages now) will be a better place if women can just come lead forward and tell their men everything that is bothering them but unfortunately, this is not something that happens except in our dreams.
Let’s quickly see some reasons why women are afraid to share their insecurities.
- Fear of being taking for granted: They feel you’ll take them for granted.
- This might make you think less of them: They feel you might make you think less of them and probably no longer find them attractive.
- Fear of the unknown: They are just scared of everything and nothing.
Why Women Don’t Want Beautiful House Helps
1. Trust Issues
When we talk about trust here; I’m talking about her not trusting herself that she, you, her hubby cannot live in a house with another lady and nothing will happen.
It’s like a CEO always believing her worker will steal from her. She has pictured this time and time in her mind that sometimes, she even tell her working that she know they will steal still from her.
This kinda reminds me of a movie I watched. In that movie, the couple in that movie attacked a bank and the robbery was smooth sailing however, Both of them didn’t just trust each other in terms of staying at home alone with the money.
Women will naturally protect their men from other women especially the drop dead ones than allow their men to choose if they fall or not.
2. They still believe in the saying that all men are dogs
I’ve heard this saying almost a million times. All men are dogs and our women especially here in Naija still believe this.
Although, I have tried to change the perception some ladies I’ve met, but come on, it’s impossible to change the mind of every woman.
Your wife might not have told you this but the fact that she has not told you doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe this.
She believes whether consciously or unconsciously, you’ll cheat on her someday and she prefers you do it outside than under her nose.
3. She Knows Her Husband is a Visual Creature no Matter How Tongue Speaking He is
Women know that whether they like it or not men are visual creatures and they will always be attracted by what they see.
They’ll chase it if it looks good.
Imagine a man waking in the morning and seeing a figure 8, drop-dead almost naked house-help coming to serve him tea on the bed.
A woman who knows her man is easily driven by this will not consider employing a house-help not to talk of a drop-dead gorgeous one no matter how stressful the home is in terms of chores.
There’s a saying that “if you want to make a man fall, send him a lady to seduce in him”.
You might not know this but your wife does. That’s why she’s hot when another lady oversteps her boundary around you.
This might look too protective but that’s her way of shielding her man (you).
So that’s it!
Those are the reasons why I feel women are scared of hiring house-helps but what are your reasons or what do you think are the reasons.
I’ll like to know, drop your comment below!
Image Credit to: Chaunhatminh1/1 image