If you’re a father, I mean a father to a girl child (no matter the age), this is for you.
An open letter from the men you say are taking your daughters for granted. So read up and ponder on this.
Also do yourself a favor, after reading this blog post, pass the phone or whatever you are using to read this blog post to your wife so that she can also read this blog post too and speak some sense to your stubborn mind, that’s if she still has a mind of her own because all these nonsense stops.
“Stop blaming us for your daughters’ state of singleness. You made choosing hard when you don’t train your daughters’ to be marriable.”
By the time I’m done writing this blog post and you’re done reading this blog post, you will understand what I mean. I pray you do because if you don’t, then there’s no how you won’t marry your daughter(s).
Now, asides the fact that the economy is not encouraging us to tie the knot, it’s also hard, EXTREMELY HARD to find women termed as marriable today due to your ignorance and carelessness.
Or should I say due to you and your wife’s ignorance and carelessness? No, I’ll say it’s due to your ignorance and carelessness because this whole fault is on YOU. Maybe another day, I’ll talk about the mothers’ fault but today is for you.
As at now that I’m writing this letter to you,
I’m still single and I must say my eyes have seen. In fact, i will not be exaggerating if I say they have overseen. Seen so much that if I decide to close my eyes now from any lady, everyone will understand my parents might not because they sure want to see their grandchildren, but I’m very sure every other person will understand.
I must say, if it’s not that my parents and family are pressing on me to see their grandchildren, I’ll have just closed this chapter of getting married and follow the journey of being a reverend father or maybe just look for a slay mama who is up to my handsomeness and have babies but… I can’t. My beliefs won’t allow me.
So let’s make it fair here.
In as much as I’m saying there are the unmarriable ones. I’ve met the marriables, a few good ones. Yes, I’ll use the word “few” because of the gap is so obvious that even a blind man can see and like I said earlier, the blame is on the fathers.
So can we say a woman losing her father through death might be her reason for waywardness?
If we say “yes”, what about those that their fathers are still alive and breathing?
Probably these fathers are now living ghosts. Just saying!
From the stories of many ladies I’ve met and how they describe their fathers. I can tell you boldly that there are 4 kinds of fathers that have made choosing a life partner hard for single men.
4 Kinds of Fathers in Today World
1. The Poor Father Who Spoils His Daughter By Teaching her to be Lazy
These kinds of fathers can be easily seen and noticed time and time again. They are not rich but they make sure they spoil their child with every other thing they have. Probably because they feel that there are other holes to fill.
They spoil their daughters with freedom, food and idleness and throw them large birthdays despite the fact that they can’t afford it.
By 15 years their daughters can’t still lay their beds and some can’t even change their menstrual pads. Daughters like these grow up and become useless not just to themselves but to any potential husband who wants to marry them.
2. The Rich Father Who Spoils His Daughter With Everything
Fathers like these see scolding and spanking a big issue. They don’t know how to spank or scold their child when they do wrong and we all know what the bible says about sparing the rod.
I don’t know, probably these fathers think they suffered so much as a child and therefore, they feel that they should make up for it by spoiling their children. Sometimes, these so-called fathers even shield their daughters from failures, taking all life decisions for them even after adulthood.
I once heard of a lady a daughter to these men who buy boyfriends.
Yeah, It’s funny to you but she buys boyfriends like she buys cars.
I know of another lady from this same background who also said in my presence that “men are playthings”.
Shaking my head, so sad!
3. The Father Who Is Physically Present But Always Absent
If I must say these kinds of fathers are the most useless I’ve seen so far because they are not just there. They might be physically present in the lives of their daughters but they are absent in the sense that they don’t create any bond with their daughter(s).
These men can be called “fathers” but never “daddies”. Even when they are at home, they lock themselves away somewhere (in a room) and say “they don’t want to be disturbed”.
These kinds of fathers think the responsibility of raising godly children belongs to their wives. They are not present in their daughter’s life. They don’t remember their daughter’s birthday, graduation ceremony, menstrual periods (they’re transitioning from girl to womanhood).
A friend once told me her father is still living but she’ll have preferred he was dead because he was not fulfilling his part as a father in her life.
4. The Father Who Died And Left No Father Figure For His Daughter
The worst thing that can happen to a girl child is losing her father at a young age and not seeing someone that can feel in that space for her. This can make every girl’s journey to womanhood extremely difficult. Girls like these have to fend for themselves, and even learn about life from the wrong people.
They learn sex education extremely late and this turns them to mini prostitutes.
Although girls like this are homely because they teach themselves house chores very early in life, they don’t consider themselves marriable.
Asides these 4 kinds of fathers,
There are other ones, and the fact that I didn’t mention them here doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You know yourself if you’ve been a BAD FATHER. It’s not too late to set things right. I feel I don’t need to beg you before you do this but if you want me to.
Sometimes, it’s not always about the school she went to or the degree she has. It’s about how well you’ve trained her. Don’t me get wrong, I’m not saying education is not important, I just feel if men are asked to choose between peace of mind and educational qualification, they’ll go for peace of mind.
She can be useful to you despite the fact that she can’t cook. After all, you’re her father. But the truth is she is not useful to us. We want women that can manage our finances. Pampered and spoilt ladies can’t do these because you didn’t pass on the value of money to them.
Yes, I know some of your daughters have kept themselves all this while, staying away from all forms of sexual … But it’s still pointless as long as we are not marrying them. So please do the needful.
This Will Happen If You Don’t Set Things Right
Your daughters will be used as baby mammas or for pick and drop. I know that didn’t come out right but it’s the truth.
Some research are saying there are more single women than men. I don’t know how true this is but if there’s a bit of TRUTH in this, things are going to get worse because desperation will come into play for the good ladies.
Let’s face the fact, I know we men can manage and marry these pampered and spoilt ladies and carve them into a perfect piece but it’s not easy.
So Here’s My Parting Advice For Every Father
Start being a good father especially to your girls. Imbibe good values into them. Teach them how to respect their body and how to spot the good men because I also notice this – some daughters don’t know how to spot good men.
No offense guys, I’m just coming out straight.
In the end, this letter is not to make you look bad as a father on all you’ve done but to make you do what will entice us to marry your daughters.
I hope this advice there will bring fresh air in few years to come because in few years my sons will also be on the search for a good bride and I pray they won’t have to go to heaven to find one.
On my behalf and on behalf of every single man in Nigeria and the whole world as a whole, thank you for reading this letter.
God bless you!
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